home.adoc (1628B)
1 [.subheader] 2 Official broadcast from the Department of Unnecessary Raccoon Confidence. 3 4 == Welcome to My Very Serious Website 5 6 I changed this page into a public service announcement for anyone who has ever opened the fridge, 7 stared directly at a pickle jar, and thought: "This could have been an email." 8 9 [.hero] 10 -- 11 This site is now dedicated to three universal truths: 12 13 * A raccoon in a tiny reflective vest is automatically middle management. 14 * If you whisper "deploy" near a toaster, it starts estimating story points. 15 * Every houseplant is quietly judging your cable management. 16 -- 17 18 == Today’s Agenda 19 20 I would like to share the following carefully researched ideas with the world: 21 22 * Croissants are just bread doing yoga. 23 * Soup is a beverage until you make eye contact with a spoon. 24 * Ducks walk like they are late to a meeting they absolutely called themselves. 25 * The cloud is just someone else's computer, but with better branding and more stickers. 26 27 == New Feature 28 29 I added a link:field-guide[field guide] for identifying dangerous levels of pigeon self-esteem 30 in the wild. Use it responsibly. Do not taunt the pigeons. They have committees. 31 32 == Source Code 33 34 The https://git.beep.wimdupont.com[Repositories] page hosts the source for this 35 site as `beepweb`, along with the other small projects currently living under 36 this subdomain. 37 38 == Closing Statement 39 40 If this website brightened your day by even 4%, my work here is complete. 41 If it did not, please refresh the page and pretend one of the bullets honked. 42 43 [.subheader] 44 Thank you for visiting. Please exit through the gift shop and take one imaginary goose sticker.