field-guide.adoc (1301B)
1 [.subheader] 2 A short guide to the kinds of pigeons that mistake public space for rank. 3 4 == Field Guide to Overconfident Pigeons 5 6 [.hero] 7 -- 8 Not every pigeon is a threat. Some are simply carrying themselves with a level 9 of confidence that suggests they believe the pavement, nearby benches, and a 10 portion of the municipal budget belong to them. The trick is recognizing when 11 you are in the presence of ordinary bird behavior and when you are being sized 12 up by middle management. 13 -- 14 15 == Threat Levels 16 17 [.threat-card] 18 -- 19 *Level 1: Crumb Auditor* 20 21 Appears harmless, but is watching your lunch with bureaucratic focus. 22 It has never filed a report, but it strongly implies that it could. 23 -- 24 25 [.threat-card] 26 -- 27 *Level 2: Sidewalk Influencer* 28 29 Refuses to move, maintains eye contact, and somehow makes you feel like the one 30 who is in the way. 31 -- 32 33 [.threat-card] 34 -- 35 *Level 3: Regional Vice Pigeon* 36 37 Travels with two associates and gives the impression that every dropped crumb 38 in the district has already been allocated. 39 You do not know who elected it, but the posture suggests a decisive victory. 40 -- 41 42 == Recommended Response 43 44 Offer no crumbs, make no promises, and continue walking like you have somewhere 45 more important to be. If that fails, return to link:home[the homepage] and 46 recover your dignity there.